Obsession with Perfection.

I got all my course cards earlier, and I became quite depressed because when I received my grade in INTRECO, I only got a 1.0. Too bad 'cause all my other grades are not less than 3.0. So my hopes on getting into the Dean's List this term just shattered like a frail little wine glass.

Maybe around thirty minutes ago, I checked my MyLasalle account because I have to submit my grades tomorrow to CAO. Lo and behold! My INTRECO grade magically became 2.0! My prof was online (yes, he's in my ym list. How cute.) so I asked him if he really did change my grade... And he said yes, he did. Wow.

MR. ALFREDO PALOYO, YOU ARE THE BOMB.

It doesn't feel right though. I didn't work for that 2.0. Sir probably thought that he should change my grade because he felt sorry for me because he knew that I was in the Dean's List last term. I don't know. But I really know that I don't deserve that 2.0. And now I feel like a stupid brat obsessed with perfection.

I still can't believe it.
THANK YOU, SIR PALOYO.

Save the Pandas!

"When pandas become extinct, they'll go to heaven."

SAVE THE PANDAS!

We're getting along just fine. We both don't have heavy feelings towards each other anymore. Finally! I am loviiiing it. :D

On Dream Weddings.

Before leaving for jazz rehearsals earlier, I was watching For Better or For Worse on Star World. So the rules are: 1) bride and groom will have nothing to do with the preparation (they'll only come on the day of the wedding itself) and there should be no contact between them and the team; 2) The budget is $5,000; 3) They only have a week to prepare.

Today's episode was lame. The wedding planner was bossy... To think she was introduced as someone who's accomplished TONS of gorgeous weddings. 'Cause you see, the team is composed of people who are close to the bride and groom, and they'd know what the two would want-- a simple beach wedding, and for the bride, a simple white dress. The wedding planner, however, insisted that they do it in a museum, and that the dress be pink to make things different. Since the bride has pink/red highlights, she concluded that she likes pink. Very nice :

Too bad I wasn't able to see what happened in the end. Hahaha. I would never join those kinds of shows.

Got me thinking of what kind of wedding I would want though. I wouldn't want anything too traditional. Maybe in a beach... Then party right after. Yes luau! That would be great :)

Boredom.

I'm bored. Bored. Bored. Bored. Yes. I am B-O-R-E-D.

Aww, that line just made me remember my lovely thread in the Michelle Branch message board from years ago! I miss Anna Banana's Everyday Bored Thread. :(

I know I deserve more than this... Entertain me! :p

Endlessly Failing.

Again, I am distracted. I've read already though. I'll just keep reading... Later.

I feel terrible... because I can't help but unintentionally go against my word and break a heart. Maybe I shouldn't express how I feel. I shouldn't say if I love someone. I shouldn't say if I'm sorry... Because I'll just end up making the same mistake.

Call me a sissy if you want. I accept it anyway. It's not that I choose to get stuck in this rut or anything...

Gah. Ewan.

Bummage.

It's final exam week and here I am, sitting in front of the computer, blogging.

Wonderful.

Hey I try to study. To no avail, apparently.

Back to Ignorance.

Here goes another one of our goodbyes.
I knew it was too good to be true.

Surprises, Surprises.

I'm relieved.

I knew all we needed was a little talk, a little understanding and a little openness. And right now it's as if there's an unspoken agreement that both of us actually don't know about. Yes, it's weird. But, hey, I feel that everything is okay. I'm happy. :)

Now I really can believe that nothing in this world is impossible.

His Sad Lines and Mine.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, the night is shattered
And the blue stars shiver in a distance.
The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
Through nights like this one I held her in my arms
And kissed her again and again under the endless sky
She loved me, sometimes I loved her, too
How could one not have loved her great still eyes?

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.
To hear the immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.
What does it matter that my love could not keep her?
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees
We, of that time, are no longer the same

I no longer love her, that's certain. But how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain. But maybe I love her.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.
Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
And these the last verses that I write for her.

Such a beautiful poem written by Pablo Neruda. Beautiful and sad. Like me. Hahahahaha. I'm just playing. I finally memorize it! I'll be reciting this either on Monday or on Friday. Depends.

I feel like a bum again. It feels good. I worked myself out the past week. Yan tuloy. I got sick.

I miss wonderboy. Yes, I do. He'll be flying to Cebu later.

Gasp!

Oh. Em. Gee.

My boobs shrank!
Woopteedoo!

:D :D :D

Zombie.

I need sleep. But I don't think I should now because I have to get up at 6. If I sleep now, I might not get up. And that's a bad thing.

La la laaaa. I'm in zombie mode. So many things to do...

Busy Busy.

Great. Now I really do have a busy schedule. (and yet here I am blogging :p)

Instead of the drama festival for LITERA2, we'll be having a poetry festival wherein we have to memorize the poem and talk about it's context and the poet. .5 will be deducted for every mistake we make. CRAP.

This Friday, I have two papers to do-- one for LITERA2 and one for KASPIL2. Then I just remembered that in my KASPIL2 exam, I have to memorize some parts of the Philippine AND the world map!

To make things worse, I have jazz EVERYDAY... Even Thursdays.
Well... Actually it's kind of okay since there are days when we don't have to come if we're not casted for the dance that's going to be choreographed on that day. But still.

I'm getting so harrassed just thinking about all the things I have to do.

On the bright side, I was casted for 3 dances for Simbuyo. Watch it guys! LSDC Jazz concert on September 22-23 @ William Shaw. Just tell me if you're interested :)

Numb.

I have a theory. I think I've become who I am because of him... Because of this bitterness that has taken over me even though I thought it wasn't there anymore.

Perhaps this is a sign telling me that I must finally just frickin let go. How I wish I could be rational for once in my life.

I'm actually not crying right now. I'm just... Numb. In some way I don't care but there's a part of me that does. It's my fault, too, I admit. I choose to sulk. I choose to remember. I choose to let it affect me.

I need an es-ca-pey.

He's In Love.

"crazily in love with the exceptional"

I'm happy for you, dear.

Jam Packed.

Things I have to finish for the next three weeks:

Week 1
Monday
INTRECO (economics) test
Jazz rehearsals

Tuesday
ARTCOMP (computer) long exam
"The Tempest" rehearsals for LITERA2
Jazz rehearsals

Wednesday
"The Tempest" rehearsals
Jazz rehearsals

Thursday
ARTCOMP functions project
RELSTWO class mass (no big for this one actually)
"The Tempest" rehearsals

Friday
KASPIL2 (Philippine history) test
Jazz rehearsals

Saturday
"The Tempest" rehearsals
Jazz rehearsals

Week 2
Monday
LITERA2 "The Tempest" presentation
KASPIL2 reporting on foreign debt
Jazz rehearsals

Tuesday-Wednesday, Friday -- Jazz rehearsals

Week 3
Tuesday
INTRECO final exam

Wednesday
RELSTWO final exam (that has 200 frickin items!)

Yikes. Jazz'll be getting most of my time. Well, not really. Hm. Now that I just listed all the things that I have to do... I feel calm. Haha. I was worrying earlier. I don't have so much things to do after all!

I shall start on my ARTCOMP project now. I'll be going to RCBC to watch "Death and The Maiden" later for LITERA2, then go to Anna's house. It was her birthday yesterday.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NANA!

So yeah, there. I just came from BodyCare, some spa in Fitness First. Saraaaaaap. :">